100 Word challenge week 8

I am so exited for tomorrow because they are  going to through me a party.The next day came and then we celebrated my birthday the burning flame of the candle was toasty and when I blow it out it felt like I was swimming through my precious white clouds of memory. I felt myself souring over my dreams, I thought that I was in a different world but I wasn't. The next day I went to school to watch a movie at the end we did some math and then we wrote in are planner and went home. 

Comments

  1. HillcrestBlog35 November 2017 at 14:00

    Hello Mrporkchop,
    The prompt words are fairly well spread out in your writing. You have used some descriptive vocabulary e.g. 'toasty', and 'precious'. Your story would have been more interesting if you had talked about your 'souring dreams', rather than bringing everything back to an ordinary day. You would benefit from word processing your story in a 'Word' document first, then copying and pasting it into your blog. 'Word' will help you realize where you have made spelling and punctuation errors. Congratulations on completing the 100 Word Challenge Week #8.
    Sincerely,
    Mrs. Van

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